1. It’s like having a tiny, needy baby
Chihuahuas like nothing better than to clamber upon you to demand cuddles and baby talk. Sometimes I waltz around my bedroom with Mort in my arms, singing into his furry face, breaking only to kiss his teeny nose. Other days my patience wears slightly thin.
2. Ninja poop
Mort happily goes outside to the toilet first thing. Then 10 minutes later, he’ll run up two flights of stairs to my bedroom and crap in the middle of the carpet. It’s like he sees it as a challenge. Leave the bathroom door open for five minutes and there’s poop on the bathmat. Guaranteed.
3. They have no idea that they are small
Chihuahuas are seemingly born without the fear gene. Mine will race up to other dogs of any size and bounce around in an attempt to get them to play. They make fantastic guard dogs – their ridiculous bat ears hear everything.
4. They don’t need to be carried everywhere
Contrary to popular opinion, chihuahuas are ‘proper’ dogs – just in miniature. Even young ones are perfectly capable of walking fairly long distances, so long as you’re careful to keep them fit and not strain baby bones. Mort will bounce around the local fields for an hour and still have the energy for a cat chase around the living room when we get home.
5. They are brilliant escape artists
6. Chihuahuas like to burrow
Chihuahuas are notorious for their burrowing habits. New owners learn very quickly to pat down any soft furnishings before sitting, for fear of squishing a sleeping idiot.
7. They are social media royalty
Even if you’ve always sworn blind that you’d never do it, within a fortnight of taking a chihuahua into your home you will be considering giving it its own Facebook page.
Everyone wants to keep up with his antics, right?
And let’s not mention Instagram, which – even though you’ve only previously used it for work and food pics – will immediately become swamped with endless puppy pics.
Who doesn’t want to see all that cuteness?
Well, your friends, probably. But they’re too polite to tell you that you’re more irritating than even the worst baby bore.
8. They will attempt to eat anything
There is endless potential for choking with a tiny hound. Every chihuahua owner has, at some point, pondered how they would perform the Heimlich manoeuvre on such a minuscule creature.
9. They’re a brilliant man filter
It takes a man who’s very confident in his own sexuality to walk a tiny dog, which is also probably wearing a ridiculous jumper. If your man isn’t keen, change him. The dog stays.
10. They love fuss and adoration
Because they know they’re worth it.